MY BLANKET OF DEPRESSION

MY BLANKET OF DEPRESSION

My blanket of depression

is the color of mud.

Like the army blanket

my daddy brought from the war.

I creep beneath it

and gather it

around me.

The blanket is old and ragged,

The way I feel.

The sunlight comes through

in little pinpricks,

like the pinpricks of anxiety

that cover me.

I crouch beneath the blanket

like a turtle in it's shell.

The shell protects me,

Yet it is my prison.

Sometimes the depression lifts

like the edges of the blanket

when the wind blows.

Then I spread my blanket

and sit atop it,

coming untangled for a while

in the healing sunshine.

But then the fear comes again

and I pull my blanket even tighter

to smother the pain.

Someday I will take my blanket

And shake it.

Shake it free of the fear and pain

And the tear stains.

 I will make a little boat

And for a mast I will use a tall sapling.

 I will fasten my blanket for a sail

And I will sail away upon an ocean.

Please God, an ocean of joy.