Dear Kenneth,
I have this terrible feeling that you no longer loved me when you died. And I know I deserve to feel this way. If I could make it up to you somehow I would. It is too late and I will have to live with this feeling from now on. I heard you speak my name just before I woke up yesterday and it was like it was filled with love. But I still have this feeling and feel I don't have the right to cry over you. It is a terrible feeling. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I am so so sorry. Please let me know somehow that you forgive me.
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